Sorry about that …

I have just returned from a wonderful holiday in Madeira with my seven “Poly Dollies”. This year was special because we were celebrating 50 years since we first met as students at Birmingham Polytechnic. We spent a week laughing, reminiscing, and enjoying beautiful Madeira and the sunshine. But one thing struck me once again: how often they said “sorry”!

As a recent BBC Travel article points out, “sorry” in Britain is far more than a simple apology. It can be used to show empathy, to attract someone’s attention, to soften a disagreement, or even to acknowledge a minor social awkwardness. In some situations, Brits will say “sorry” when someone else bumps into them, almost as a way of maintaining social harmony.

One of my Dollies illustrates this perfectly. Whenever she phones, she starts with: “Oh, sorry, am I disturbing you?” Usually, she is calling at a perfectly reasonable hour when I am probably relaxing with a cup of tea. No disturbance has occurred, yet the apology arrives right on cue.

I noticed the same thing a few years ago while walking with my uncle in the pretty seaside town of Swanage. On a crowded promenade, a woman politely asked, “Oh, sorry to disturb you, would you mind if I just squeezed past?” Her request was so charmingly courteous that I almost wanted her to say it again.

As a Brit myself, I must confess that I am also a fully paid-up member of the British apology culture. I often catch myself saying “sorry” for things that are not my fault, or apologising before asking a perfectly reasonable question. It seems to be deeply embedded in our national character. So, if you ever find yourself talking to a British person who says “sorry” a dozen times in a single conversation, please be patient with us. And if our constant apologising occasionally gets on your nerves, well… sorry about that.